My 10 Favourite Readings for a Wedding

Here are some of my favourite (and perhaps more unusual) non-religious ceremony poems and other readings for weddings, vow renewals and commitment ceremonies. As well as the ‘traditional’ medium of poetry and prose, I’ve taken my wedding inspiration from films (movies), books and song lyrics. I also need to add here that this blog outlines just my favourites; the couples I work with always have the choice of readings and poems that they want to include, and I’ll offer inspiration if they request it. Some couples want to include more than one reading in their ceremony, other couples choose to have none at all. With me as your celebrant, your ceremony will be written with you in mind and so will be unique and meaningful to you as a couple; why not chose to include the readings that resonate the most with you? You can also read my blog about how readings can enrich a ceremony here.

The list below contains those that have caught my eye whilst doing research and are in no particular order. I hope that they give you some insight into me and my celebrant ‘style’, and perhaps offer some inspiration if you’re looking for an unusual reading for a wedding, elopement or vow renewal. Alternatively, they may offer you some ideas when choosing your next book or poetry anthology the next time you’re at the bookshop or library.*

So, let’s dive in!

#1 I love this one by American poet Paul Laurence Dunbar, one of the first influential African-American poets in American literature, who sadly died young, at the age of 33. The words invite and welcome love into the speaker’s life and evoke wonderful images of nature. The rhythm of the prose makes it a pleasure to read aloud.

Invitation To Love by Paul Laurence Dunbar

Come when the nights are bright with stars

Or come when the moon is mellow;

Come when the sun his golden bars

Drops on the hay-field yellow.

Come in the twilight soft and gray,

Come in the night or come in the day,

Come, O love, whene’er you may,

And you are welcome, welcome.

You are sweet, O Love, dear Love,

You are soft as the nesting dove.

Come to my heart and bring it to rest

As the bird flies home to its welcome nest.

Come when my heart is full of grief

Or when my heart is merry;

Come with the falling of the leaf

Or with the redd’ning cherry.

Come when the year’s first blossom blows,

Come when the summer gleams and glows,

Come with the winter’s drifting snows,

And you are welcome, welcome

Paul Laurence Dunbar also wrote the iconic line ‘I know why the caged bird sings’ in perhaps his most famous poem, Sympathy.

#2 Perfect for a secular wedding, Union by American author Robert Fulghum can also be adapted to suit each individual couple and the words ‘husband’ and ‘wife’ can be amended for LGBTQ+ weddings.

Union by Robert Fulghum

You have known each other from the first glance of acquaintance to this point of commitment. At some point, you decided to marry. From that moment of yes, to this moment of yes, indeed, you have been making commitments in an informal way.

All of those conversations that were held in a car, or over a meal, or during long walks – all those conversations that began with, “When we’re married”, and continued with “I will” and “you will” and “we will” – all those late night talks that included “someday” and “somehow” and “maybe” – and all those promises that are unspoken matters of the heart. All these common things, and more, are the real process of a wedding.

The symbolic vows that you are about to make are a way of saying to one another, “You know all those things that we’ve promised, and hoped, and dreamed – well, I meant it all, every word.”

Look at one another and remember this moment in time. Before this moment you have been many things to one another – acquaintance, friend, companion, lover, dancing partner, even teacher, for you have learned much from one another these past few years. Shortly you shall say a few words that will take you across a threshold of life, and things between you will never quite be the same.

For after today you shall say to the world;

This is my husband.

This is my wife.

#3 I remember seeing this book on the shelf at home as a child. My mum was an avid reader and studied for an A Level in English Literature as a mature student. It was through her that my sister and I came to love reading. I don’t remember reading the book as a child, but as an adult I have, and often come back to it. 

Extract from The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran

Let there be spaces in your togetherness, And let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another but make not a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. Fill each other’s cup but drink not from one cup. Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf. Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone, Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music. Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping. For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts. And stand together, yet not too near together: For the pillars of the temple stand apart, And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.

#4 I confess that I have never seen the stage show or film of Les Misérables. Am I missing out? However, I have always loved this extract from the original novel by French author Victor Hugo.

Extract from Les Misérables by Victor Hugo

The future belongs to hearts even more than it does to minds. Love, that is the only thing that can occupy and fill eternity. In the infinite, the inexhaustible is requisite.

Love participates of the soul itself. It is of the same nature. Like it, it is the divine spark; like it, it is incorruptible, indivisible, imperishable. It is a point of fire that exists within us, which is immortal and infinite, which nothing can confine, and which nothing can extinguish. We feel it burning even to the very marrow of our bones, and we see it beaming in the very depths of heaven.

#5 The following is an extract from Gift From The Sea by American writer Anne Morrow Lindbergh. This one is perfect for a beach wedding, drawing on the similarities between the ebb and flow of relationships and of islands, surrounded by the sea and its changing tides.

Gift From The Sea by Anne Morrow Lindbergh

When you love someone, you do not love them all the time, in exactly the same way, from moment to moment. It is an impossibility. It is even a lie to pretend to. And yet this is exactly what most of us demand. We have so little faith in the ebb and flow of life, of love, of relationships. We leap at the flow of the tide and resist in terror its ebb. We are afraid it will never return. We insist on permanency, on duration, on continuity; when the only continuity possible, in life as in love, is in growth, in fluidity — in freedom, in the sense that the dancers are free, barely touching as they pass, but partners in the same pattern. The only real security is not in owning or possessing, not in demanding or expecting, not in hoping, even. Security in a relationship lies neither in looking back to what was in nostalgia, nor forward to what it might be in dread or anticipation, but living in the present relationship and accepting it as it is now. Relationships must be like islands, one must accept them for what they are here and now, within their limits — islands, surrounded and interrupted by the sea, and continually visited and abandoned by the tides.

#6 I am a huge fan of storyteller, poet and activist Maya Angelou’s work. She was an inspiring writer and also a compelling speaker. Here she writes that love is not the answer to all of life’s problems and is not easy to find or to understand, but letting love into our lives frees and heals us. This would be a perfect poem for a wedding or a vow renewal ceremony, offering a message about the transformational impact of love.

Touched By An Angel by Maya Angelou

We, unaccustomed to courage

exiles from delight

live coiled in shells of loneliness

until love leaves its high holy temple

and comes into our sight

to liberate us into life.

Love arrives

and in its train come ecstasies

old memories of pleasure

ancient histories of pain.

Yet if we are bold,

love strikes away the chains of fear

from our souls.

We are weaned from our timidity

In the flush of love's light

we dare be brave

And suddenly we see

that love costs all we are

and will ever be.

Yet it is only love

which sets us free.

Whilst I am on the subject, two of my favourite quotes from Maya Angelou are:

“We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty.”

and

“I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way (s)he handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.”

#7 Another reading that compares love with the rise and fall of the tide, this is a short, but incredibly powerful extract from the novel The Hundred Secret Senses by Amy Tan. It talks of the unpredictable, unavoidable and inclusive nature of love.

Extract from The Hundred Secret Senses by Amy Tan

Love is tricky. It is never mundane or daily. You can never get used to it. You have to walk with it, then let it walk with you. You can never balk. It moves you like the tide. It takes you out to sea, then lays you on the beach again. Today’s struggling pain is the foundation for a certain stride through the heavens. You can run from it but you can never say no. It includes everyone.

#8 If you haven’t read Philip Pullman’s His Dark Materials trilogy, I would highly recommend that you do. I come back to these books time and again and always get something new from them - and I love hearing the references to places in Oxford, where I spent much time when I was younger. This extract is from the final book in the trilogy, The Amber Spyglass.

The Amber Spyglass by Philip Pullman

I will love you forever; whatever happens. Till I die and after I die, and when I find my way out of the land of the dead, I’ll drift about forever, all my atoms, till I find you again… I’ll be looking for you…every moment, every single moment. And when we do find each other again, we’ll cling together so tight that nothing and no one’ll ever tear us apart. Every atom of me and every atom of you… We’ll live in birds and flowers and dragonflies and pine trees and in clouds and in those little specks of light you see floating in sunbeams… And when they use our atoms to make new lives, they won’t just be able to take one, they’ll have to take two, one of you and one of me, we’ll be joined so tight.

#9 Written in a letter by American singer-songwriter Johnny Cash to with his wife, June Carter, (‘Happy Birthday Princess’), this letter is concise but incredibly meaningful – and perfect for a couple who prefer brevity when it comes to wedding readings!

We get old and get used to each other. We think alike. We read each others [sic] minds. We know what the other wants without asking. Sometimes we irritate each other a little bit. Maybe sometimes take each other for granted.

But once in awhile, like today, I meditate on it and realize how lucky I am to share my life with the greatest woman I ever met. You still fascinate and inspire me. You influence me for the better. You’re the object of my desire, the #1 Earthly reason for my existence. I love you very much.

The path of Johnny and June’s love was certainly not smooth; they were both married to other people when they met and struggled with their feelings because they couldn’t be together. Later, Johnny would call the love he had for June ‘unconditional’, and sadly, the couple died within four months of each other.

#10 As a celebrant, I don’t follow convention when it comes to a wedding ceremony. Each is different and written specifically for each couple. David Bowie didn’t follow the mainstream style of music, from the time he started making music, throughout the rest of his career. The word ‘icon’ is thrown about a lot these days, but it really is true of David Bowie. If you’re looking for a wedding reading that’s a bit different, how about the lyrics of his 1986 release Absolute Beginners?;

Absolute Beginners by David Bowie

I've nothing much to offer

There's nothing much to take

I'm an absolute beginner

And I'm absolutely sane

As long as we're together

The rest can go to hell

I absolutely love you

But we're absolute beginners

With eyes completely open

But nervous all the same

If our love song

Could fly over mountains

Could laugh at the ocean

Just like the films

There's no reason

To feel all the hard times

To lay down the hard lines

It's absolutely true

Nothing much could happen

Nothing we can't shake

Oh we're absolute beginners

With nothing much at stake

As long as you're still smiling

There's nothing more I need

I absolutely love you

But we're absolute beginners

But if my love is your love

We're certain to succeed 

So, if you are looking for a slightly more unconventional poem or reading for your wedding, renewal of vows or elopement, why not look for inspiration from your favourite book, song - or that series you have just watched (from beginning to end over the course of one weekend) on Disney+/Netflix/Amazon Prime/Hulu.

And, importantly ‘…never love anyone who treats you like you're ordinary.’ (Oscar Wilde).

*If you haven’t already, join your local library - being a member is FREE and so is borrowing books!